Did You Get the Right Gift?

Merry Christmas! once again. I hope the day went the way you had dreamed (and spent). Today is Boxing Day, traditionally the day we open gifts. That is no longer the case. We are no longer that patient. Unwrapping gifts is the first thing we do before we greet each other Merry Christmas in some instances.

In most cultures, the polite thing to do when unwrapping gifts in front of the giver is to give a “toothpaste smile”, mutter thank you, and a few words about how much you “like” the. It is considered rude to tell someone that you are not happy with the gift they just gave you. In the world of kids, there is no place for niceties, especially when they are sorely disappointed. They wanted “this” and you got “that”. There is no guessing where they stand. With adults, you have to look into the eyes and read their body language to discern that they did not quite like the gift. They are only trying to be nice.

They keep the gift away someplace after making the right noises, plotting the next step to make it disappear without hurting your feelings. The common way is to keep it intact and use it as a gift to someone next year. Some quietly retrieve the receipts, take them back to the store to get the money back, or pick something they like. Some gifts end up on eBay and other auction sites – you run into product descriptions like this: “brand new unopened item, latest model xxx, never been used – unwanted gift…” etc. Some end up in the closet for years, gathering coat upon coat of dust.

It makes you wonder, was it worth all the trouble?

Why spend money you don’t have to buy an item you can’t afford to give someone who doesn’t like it? Why the hassle?

For folks like me with not much time to spare and a slim gift budget, I normally vote for cash or gift vouchers. It may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but I am in love with freedom, especially the freedom to choose.

Everyone has an idea of the gift they would rather receive if given the choice – which toy, appliance, wine, or whatever. For many, they have enough. Their closets are full. Most people in mid-life are in the giving phase, giving back to society. The best gift you can give them is cash to support the charitable work they are doing. It makes their day more than a Lamborghini.

I believe the recipient should have the freedom to choose if you are going to spend so much on their behalf anyway. Cash works for me every time. The recipient gets to buy what they really want. If the money is not enough, they can add more money and go for it. For a lot of people in survival mode, money is a God-sent. If feeding is an issue, no other gift will do. If one is facing a severe cash crunch and wondering where the next meal or money for grocery shopping is going to come from, the last thing they need is someone to give their child a Nintendo PlayStation. If someone is about to get thrown out of their accommodation for rent or mortgage payment default, they will appreciate cash more than a food processor.

Do not get me wrong, giving the right gift to the right person at the right time is a beautiful experience, both for the giver and the receiver. Unfortunately, we often get the wrong gift. Sometimes we feel obligated to give because we have received it. There is pressure and underlying resentment, especially if you did not like the gift in the first place, and you are expected to reciprocate.

Why all the stress, money, and time-wasting (especially if your finances are in disarray)? Why can’t we simply be ourselves? Give when you want to and can afford to, and don’t when you are not up to it. If the love is based on giving gifts, then that love is not unconditional and is a liability you can do without.

We all want to be liked by others, but what good has it done to us, all these years of living up to others’ expectations?
Do we need that pressure?
Why can’t we just be ourselves and damn the consequences?
What are the consequences by the way?
Disapproval?
What is approval when you are neck-deep in debt?

Being you is the best way to go, in every situation. The highest achievement you can attain in life on this side of eternity is to be yourself – be who you were born to be, and ultimately do what you were born to do.

All these pretenses and complexities of niceties make life pretty complex, anxiety and debt prone. If we can be ourselves and allow others to be themselves, the world we are a much better place.

Compliments of the season!