When Love Does Not Pay the Bills

Doing what you love and loving what you do is a match made in heaven. It is a place where passion, talent, skills, aptitude and purpose meet. You get paid while having fun. Work feels like play. Sadly, very few find this place. A lot of people have a good idea where it is, but are not bold enough to make the move. They believe doing what they love will not pay the bills, so they say goodbye to love and passion, and hold onto their beloved meal ticket.

Growing up, we were told time and again by our parents that dreams do not put food on the table. Love does not pay the bills. In the seventies up to mid nineties, musicians, footballers, actors, comedians, tailors (as they were known then), caterers etc were for school drop outs. Your parents disown you and refuse to pay your school fees if you dared stray near any of these vocations no matter your level of passion. You needed to be a doctor, lawyer, banker, accountant and engineer etc to be regarded in society.

Sometime last year I watched Folake Folarin-Coker, founder of Tiffany Amber being interviewed on the Patricia Show on MNET, and the amiable talk show host asked her one interesting question: You have such a nice name, why did you decide to use the name Tiffany Amber? I could identify with the answer she gave. She is a trained lawyer. She dared not let her Dad know that after spending a fortune on her education abroad, she had decided “to bring shame on the family” by becoming a tailor, as fashion designers were then known. She had to go underground with her dreams, until it was safe it confess her “sins”.

As a result of going for other people’s dreams, we now have an epidemic of job dissatisfaction (how for do in pidgin). An average worker is not working for love but for the money. Career choices are made based on pay. A trained psychologist will grab a store keeper’s job in an oil company with both hands if the pay is right. He puts in enough work to avoid getting sacked, while his employer pays him just enough to prevent him looking outside for another job.

A handful of people had to return to school for a second first degree and go for their dreams after earning a first degree to please their parents. Others have moved on but had to make a career switch in mid life when they could not take it anymore. John Maxwell in Put Your Dream to the Test observes “anytime you see people pursuing a midlife career change, you can almost be certain they had been living someone else’s dream and lost their way. For the majority, they feel life has already dealt them the cards, they have no choice but to run with it, anyway love does not pay the bills. A bird in hand is their reality. They don’t believe that another reality exists for them.

A common mistake people make time and again is to try and figure out how to get there before they determine the destination or commence the journey. They don’t believe in taking one small step at a time. They want to see the full picture ahead before they set out. They want all traffic lights on their route to go green before they move. It does not work that way. Until you make the first move, certain things will not happen. Doing what you love cannot pay the bills until you start doing it, and doing it so well that you begin to grow and things begin to fall into place.

Becoming successful in whatever you want to do begin by taking action and starting small. All you need is the courage and resources to make the first step, which you already have. Bothering about tomorrow’s step paralyses and immobilizes you. You need to take one step at a time. When you take the first step, and keep moving, you will be in position to take the second step, as the first step created the springboard to take the second.

When what you love cannot pay the bills, you can hold onto your job and start working towards what you love, until such a time what you love can pay the bills. It will not just happen by itself, you have to make it happen. If you are not working for the government, your current job is a product of someone else’s love and dreams becoming reality. The owner took the risks and the rewards while you get your pay cheque to settle your bills. It is a fair exchange.

He that takes the risks gets the rewards. He who is only concerned about bills gets a salary to pay the bills. Expecting what you love to pay the bills overnight is like expecting an acorn to become an oak tree overnight. It takes a lot of effort, focus and tenacity to make what you love pay. You cannot get it on a platter of gold. If wishes were horses, fools will ride. When love does not pay the bills, you know that there is work for you to do to get there.

Time has proved that love can pay the bills. Some folks refused to give up in the face of adversity and societal scorn and made a success of acting, music, fashion design, football, modeling, DJ, MC, security services, fast foods, transportation, mobile toilets, you name it. You can have it all. Do what you love, love what you do, pay the bills and even become rich beyond your imagination. Life is too short to spend majority your working days going after someone else’s dream or longing for what you love, existing rather than living.