What you are looking for is not lost

We often look outside for answers anytime we face challenges. We have this inherent belief that we cannot come up with the answers by ourselves. This belief derives from the fact that as creatures of habit, we hardly think intentionally. We do what we have always done, and when it does not seem to work, we try harder.

Habits can be a powerful ally or a deadly enemy depending on whether your habits move you towards or away from your goals and aspirations. Habits are very useful because it saves you the hassle of having to remember before you do some things, things you can easily forget. You don’t think before you go through your daily morning routine. You flow into it immediately after you get out of bed. There are things you struggle with, things that if they became habits will move you consistently toward your goals.

However, most of us think at the mundane level, going about our routine daily tasks without the need to think creatively. Anytime we encounter a challenge, we run to someone else for help. Asking for help is not wrong, but when you completely outsource your thinking department, then there is an issue.

Networking blues

Networking is a buzzword in the business world. To many, networking is about attending events, meeting people, and exchanging business cards. At a Father’s Day event in my son’s school, as the keynote speaker came to the platform to speak on ‘Using your relationships to leverage your business’, I almost switched off. I was expecting a presentation on an MLM opportunity and a request to sign up afterward. I was bracing myself for a sales pitch when his opening sentence blew me away. I ended up taking notes as if I was back in school. What I learned would make a series of articles, but I will just mention two due to space constraints.

The first one is that networking is about connecting with people and building relationships, not just exchanging complimentary cards. We all have piles of complimentary cards we collected and promptly archived. The focus should be on adding value to the other person, not what is in it for you. It is a skill that should be developed intentionally, not something that just happens.

Secondly (my major takeaway) the people you need to help you move to the next level are already in your environment, only that you are not aware of. You need to become more aware of your environment, learn to connect and sincerely care, and don’t look down on others. Everyone holds a key to a referral. You cannot benefit unless you connect and really care enough to know them, what they do, what their goals and aspirations are, their accomplishments, what they are interested in, who they hang out with, and what skills they possess. You could be running helter-skelter looking for help whereas there is someone around you who could help solve your problem with one phone call.

Looking for business ideas

When it comes to what business to go into, most people ask others for ideas. I have been asked over and over again what business to go into. When told they need to marry their gifts/talents, passion, skill, and goals with business needs (what the market wants), many find it hard to articulate who they are, what they want, and what they are good at. Stopping to really think can be terrifying. When it comes to thinking, we prefer others to do it for us. Unfortunately, thinking cannot be outsourced sustainably.

Many would go crazy if they are left alone with nothing to keep them entertained. We try so hard to keep away from having to think. We prefer to take a shortcut and have someone provide us with the answers. This also enables us to have who to blame if things don’t go well.

Common sense dictates that if you give first, you will receive. Hence the best way to keep receiving sustainably is to keep giving. You cannot give what you don’t have. Hence it is logical to look at what you have and start giving so that you can ultimately receive. Since we don’t think, when considering which business to go into, we look at where we believe the money is and start chasing it. We lose sight of the fact that there is money everywhere, and if you stick to where you are strong and do a very good job of it, you will eventually make money. Chasing money may lead you astray.

At the end of the day, knowing yourself and being yourself positions you to do what you were born to do. When you are in your element, you don’t need to compete with others, because you are being yourself. You have found your voice, and you have yourself to beat.

Trying to be who you are not is a waste of time, energy, and resources. When you suffer from an identity crisis, coming up with a business idea seems like rocket science. What you are looking for lies within you.

Developing a reading culture

In the information age, you will be amazed at our reluctance to seek out information for ourselves. We want someone else to process it and feed it to us. You send a link to an article to someone, and rather than read it, they ask you to explain everything to them before they read the article. If you go ahead to explain, they don’t bother reading it anymore.

We have more access to information now than at any other period in human history, and it is available at our fingertips. You no longer need to travel to a library and hope you get there before closing time. You can access the internet on your phone, tablets, laptops, etc. There is hardly any challenge you face that someone has not faced and explained how she solved on the internet or in a book. There are issues I have battled with for days, and out of frustration I went online to a search engine, typed ‘how to…’ and was flooded with information that solved the challenge I had spent countless hours trying to figure out.

The answer you are looking for may not be far away. Do not underestimate yourself or look down on what you have. What you are looking for is not lost. There is no need to travel far when the answer is right in your backyard. It starts by really appreciating what you have already.

“We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time.”
– T. S. Eliot