Are You a Bank or ATM Machine?

In my previous post, I attempted to answer the question “Should I Borrow Money to Friends?” and I stated that there is no one right answer. Everything depends on the context. In one context, it is the right thing to do and you are actually helping. In another context, it is not the wise thing to do, and you are actually hurting your friend and ultimately your friendship. True love is tough and the truth often hurts. If you see your friend going the wrong way, you are aiding and abetting that ‘crime’ by assisting financially.

As human beings, we always tend towards the easy way out. Rather than go through the process, we want to take the shortcut. Rather than learn how to fish, we prefer to be given fish daily, and we take it to the next level – we want cooked fish so that all we get to do is to bring out our cutlery and descend on the fish rather than become self-sufficient by going through the whole process.

Another principle we often forget is that we need to be strong first before we attempt to bail out others on a sustainable basis. During airline pre-flight safety briefings, passengers are advised when the cabin pressure drops to put on their oxygen masks first before attempting to help others. Have you ever wondered why? You may end up endangering both lives because you will be panting for oxygen while attempting to save another. If you put on your mask first, you can help many others, because you are okay yourself. If you are not a very good swimmer, you are advised not to attempt to rescue a drowning person. The person will lock you in a death grip and both of you will go down. The best you can do is to call for help. If you are not strong financially and you try to help another struggling person, both of you may go down.

The reason the person is struggling is that the person made poor financial choices, and is about to make another. Giving the person more money will not help the person. It will only make you feel better for a season while your finances get depleted in another series of misadventures. More money does not solve our financial problems. Financial literacy does. When you know what to do, how to do it comes easy. Most people are fixated on ‘how to do’ when the’ what’ has not been sorted out. A fool and his money soon kiss each other goodbye.

We are not banks or ATM machines. We do not yet have the capability to analyze business risks, but Banks do. We do not have a stash of money sitting pretty in idle mode, ATMs do. Women are said to have sharper instincts than men and can smell trouble easily, both financially and otherwise. That is largely true in my experience. Most of the time I played bank and ATM machine, and the money goes without yielding any fruits, only for the person to come back for more, I had been warned. However, female instincts are not enough. There are still a lot of women who are financially illiterate. I will give it to the women that they seem to be much better in this department than men. They seem to manage money better than men. They are the reason most homes have not gone belly up financially.

It is very crucial that you have clear financial goals backed by the commitment to achieve them (if you have had enough of being perpetually broke, living from hand to mouth, and depending on your job to survive). When you know where you are going financially, you will channel your money accordingly and you will not have idle funds to play bank and ATM with.