Spending to Impress 2: My Child’s School is More Expensive Than Yours
Posted on | March 10, 2010 | 3 Comments
Wherever two or more Nigerian parents of school age children are gathered, the conversation eventually drifts to the issue of escalating school fees. The lamentation is often prefaced by “My children attend …”. The school you children attend is an indication of your class and financial firepower. The more expensive, the better. The most important thing is to get them into a brand name school, and lament later. Some parents shell out N1-2Million every 2-3 months on school fees alone. Their consolation is that they are working for the children. Must they go to that particular school?
The snub appeal that comes with going to an elite school has been with us long before the virtual collapse of the Nigerian educational system. Going to University in the eighties, I was almost intimidated by classmates that attended Federal Government Colleges. In my freshman year at the University, almost every conversation was spiced with – “when I was in FGC Enugu, Kano …” etc. A country boy from Uyo, I seemed to be the only one in graduating class and year a Lutheran High School. No one ever heard of such a school. Five years later, when all has been said and done, I graduated tops in my class, and looking at others that made a second class upper (our lecturers felt we were not good enough to join their exclusive club of First Class honours), I could not see the role of FGC in the final results.
Furthermore, there seems to be an inverse relationship between performance in school and success in life. The third class folks and drop outs seem dominate the rich class while the first class graduates and other top dogs in class get boxed up in the corporate world and academia, climbing career ladders and working for others for monthly wages. The Forbes rich list is littered by folks that dropped out of school and dropped into their dreams. It makes me wonder if act of parents selling limbs and lands to send their children to the best schools is worth it, after all has been said and done. Must they go to that school?
I am not by any way against education or ivy league schools. If you can AFFORD it, why not? What seems senseless is still regarding education as a meal ticket, and going to an expensive school at all cost for the sake of earning a place in the organization of one that did not go to school. I am totally against doing things without asking ourselves why? There is a world of difference between school smart and street smart, academic IQ and emotional IQ, financial IQ etc. Why spend so much on academic IQ when what one needs to succeed in life is more of emotional and financial IQ? It does not seem to add up.
The academic world and real world seems to be worlds apart. I guess that is why academia is referred to as the ivory tower. If you network and collaborate in the exam hall, you may be expelled from school. If you do not network and collaborate in real life, you are heading for a failing grade. If you do research or refer to books in the exam hall, you are crucified by the invigilator. In the exam halls of life, if you do not research and seek out information, your decision making will be greatly impaired. In school, there is often one right answer, and grades are awarded to individuals for solo effort. In the business world, there is no one right answer, and if you go solo, you may likely crash. It is no surprise then, that first class graduates do not come out tops in life. Having a first class degree is not a legal tender in the game of life, neither does going to Harvard Business School or London School of Economics.
The skills of life are learned through mentoring, and where there is no mentor, through the school of hard knocks. University only helps you to use your brain, and see the world in a wider perspective. If you do not know what you came to this world to do, Yale will not help you. Steve Jobs, founder of Apple Computers (of Mac and iPhone fame), a school dropout was asked to address the 2005 graduating class of Stanford University. His opening statement…
“I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I’ve ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That’s it. No big deal. Just three stories.”
Why does it matter if my child’s school is more expensive than yours? To be brutally frank, what has school to do with it? Who cares?
As Parents, we sometimes try to live our dreams through our children. For “successful” parents, we want them to follow in our footsteps (spell shadow). For those that did not quite make it to the promised land, we want our children to cross the Jordan River on our behalf.
In the process of doing this, we sink our life savings on an ego trip, and when it is time to raise capital for our business, we are broke as broke. I believe one of the best gifts you can give your children is to have them watch you make your dreams come true, and give them permission to go for theirs. That will inspire them to go for it, and remain focused. There is a place for education, but it is a very tiny piece of the puzzle, not the ultimate prize.
We need to set ourselves and our finances free from the bondage of societal and peer pressure, and really focus on what really matters in life. Education is no longer a meal ticket. Your dream is your meal ticket. Prisons guarantee three square meals, but you would rather go for the freedom that your dream gives. Go to a good school, get good grades and get a good job is an advice whose time has passed. It was good advice in the early 20th century. In today’s world, job security is a myth, pension is an endangered species. Mergers and acquisitions wipe out jobs and pensions in one split second. A company that seemed like will live forever suddenly disappears from the landscape. The owners count their gains while the workers count their losses. The world has moved on, into the information age, and the age of the entrepreneur. We have to change course accordingly, or live at the mercy of others.
Your child can go to any school you can afford. In less than 20 years, nobody will remember…
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March 10th, 2010 @ 12:23 am
Where did you get your blog layout from? I’d like to get one like it for my blog.
March 10th, 2010 @ 3:39 am
i think you missed the point. The quality of education is what is important. Truth is that quality of education at Lutheran might be good enough to set the foundation for university work.
If education is not your meal ticket then what is. Can you have a dream without preparation- a form of education. Besides, the world is a knowledge economy .
March 10th, 2010 @ 7:48 am
Good point. The quality of education in some schools are better than others. This is where the parents come in. If they cannot afford Corona, they can send the child to Lagbaja High, and then make sure they close the gap when the child comes home, through home tutoring by the Mum or Dad during home work.
This will involve getting the curriculum, and working with the Teacher, to make sure all gaps are closed, so that this child is on sound footing.
Some parents, after giving their arms and legs for school fees still pay for lessons. So what is the point in paying those crazy fees in the first instance if they cannot AFFORD it?
About education not being a meal ticket, well, if you know folks that are still looking for jobs for years as graduates, or have taken security jobs (I have met many), you will understand what I mean. Most folks hate their jobs, that is why I mentioned prison. You still get to eat in prison. Why not hire yourself? That is what your dream does. You do not need to apply. You become MD/CEO… If your company makes it, your meal ticket is guaranteed, for life